Making in Through All the Odds

Tell us the story of a piece of jewelry you own. Where did it come from, and what does it mean to you?

I have a silver necklace that has a single pearl hanging from it. My husband bought it for me while he was stationed in Italy. After only dating for three months, my hubby moved to Italy for 18 months to fulfill his military obligation. When I started dating him I knew that he was going to move to Italy. It was inevitable. It’s the life of the military. We had only been dating a few months so at that point getting married wasn’t in the cards but we knew we still wanted to be together. So we decided to embark on a very long distance relationship for 18 months.

The first three months were the hardest for us. We were used to being with each constantly and then it was abruptly taken away from us. So you can only imagine what our phone bills looked like. I will admit it, it was kind of insane.

Within those three months, I was assigned elsewhere with the military and moved to another state. Before I reported to my next duty station, I headed to Italy to visit him. During my stay we flew to Paris. For as long as I can remember, it has always been my dream to visit Paris. Little did I know that he had something in store for me. While we were checking out the view of Paris on the Eiffel Tower, he turned to me and asked me to me his wife. He didn’t initially give me a ring but instead a beautiful silver necklace with a single pearl.

After six years of marriage, I still wear this necklace almost every day. This necklace means the world to me. From the beginning, nothing has been easy in our relationship. We spent the first year of our marriage in different countries but we still made it work. Today we face yet another challenge in our relationship. Infertility. It’s been such a tough battle for us but we made it through a long distance relationship and we will make it through infertility.

Here Goes Nothing...

It’s funny sometimes how things come into your life. Just yesterday, I was thinking to myself that I needed to be a better blogger. Like many others, I started my blog to use an outlet during (and hopefully after) my infertility journey. I went the entire month of October and didn’t blog once. Slacker, I know! I guess I was just feeling uninspired. It’s no excuse, I know. Either way, I knew I needed to step in up.

As I was going through Twitter today, I discovered NaBloPoMo aka National Blog Posting Month through Keiko’s wonderful blog Hannah Wept, Sarah Laughed. This means committing to 30 straight days of blogging. My initial thought, I should do this! My second thought, Yikes, can I do this? I know there are scarier things in life but the thought of committing to 30 straight days of blogging kind of freaks me out a little bit. Nevertheless, I am going to do it. 30 straight days of blogging, here I come. Yikes, what am I getting myself into? I believe that everything happens for a reason and there is a reason why I came across NaBloPoMo. I just don’t know it yet. Yes, I do. I need to blog more!

NaBloPoMo comes at a good time for me because I am getting ready to do IVF #2 and I am scared out of my mind. You may or may not know that IVF #1 resulted in a wonderful BFP and then ended abruptly when I went in to do my ultrasound. Long story, short, the doctor confirmed a miscarriage during my second ultrasound. Going through my miscarriage was the toughest thing I have ever experienced in my lifetime. I don’t think I will ever fully recover from the pain. I don’t think I will ever stop thinking about the child I will never get to meet. The only thing I know for sure is that I can’t and won’t give up which is why I am doing IVF #2. More to follow on IVF #2

So here goes nothing, 30 straight days of blogging.

Running for the Cause

Today was the day. The Race for the Family 5K. I must admit I was really nervous about the race. I love to run but I’ve never really been a fast or good runner. I usually just pace myself and finish when I finish. I didn’t sign up to place but I didn’t want to be the last to finish either. I was worried that I would have to stop and be left in last place. Silly, I know. As the race started all those worries went away.

I looked out to the sea of people in front of me and it hit me. All these people have been affected by infertility one way or another. I looked around and saw little kids running with their parents, parents pushing strollers as they ran and I wondered how many of these kids were conceived thanks to IUI or IVF procedures. Suddenly, any worries I had were overcome with joy and excitement. This race wasn’t about finishing first or last, it was about making dreams come true. It was about raising money to give couples a chance to make their dream of becoming parents come true.

I am fortunate that my insurance company pays 50 percent for up to 3 IVF procedures but some couples don’t have that luxury and paying out of pocket is just impossible. So does this mean that all those dreams of becoming a parent have to go out the window? Absolutely not! This is where the Cade Foundation comes in.

Every year, the Cade Foundation awards up to $10,000 grants to help with the costs of domestic adoption and any medical fertility treatment. I know I probably sound like I’m advertising for them but the things they do for couples are truly wonderful and amazing. What is even more amazing is the story of how this foundation was started.

Executive Director, Camille Hammond underwent 6 unsuccessful IVF procedures when she was told to consider adoption or a surrogate. Her mother then stepped in and did one of the most selfless things a mother could do for her child. She became her daughter’s gestational carrier. At age 55 and post-menopausal, she gave birth to her triplet grandchildren. A healthy baby girl and two healthy baby boys!! Told you it was an amazing story. After the race, I overheard someone say, “If it wasn’t for you the foundation wouldn’t be here.” I turned around and saw the triplets. I looked at my hubby and said to him, “It puts things into perspective, doesn’t it.” He, of course, agreed. They are living proof that even though we have to jump leaps and bounds, it’s so worth the fight.

That was my motivation as I was making my way through the race course. I thought about how I refused to accept my infertile fate so I shouldn’t give up so easily in this race. I knew that I had to keep going. To keep going not only for myself but for every couple who has had and still has to knock infertility on its ass. I know that so much still lies ahead but I will get through this. One day I WILL hold my baby as I laugh in the face of infertility. I can promise you that.

P.S. I actually did better on the race than I thought. I finished 3 miles in 34 mins. Not bad for a slow, not so great runner.


Camille Hammond's story:

My Norm Moment

So I had a very funny moment today at the fertility clinic. I had a Norm moment. You know Norm? The guy from Cheers who walked into the bar and everyone always shouted his name as he walked in. Well that was me today. As I was signing in for my blood work, I was greeted by the receptionist, and then by the ladies, who draw my blood, then by another one of the ladies in the office. It was all the same, “Good Morning April. How are you today?

As I sat down in the waiting room, I couldn’t help but laugh to myself and hum the Cheers theme song in my head. It’s so funny! You know you’re an infertile when you walk into the fertility clinic and everyone knows your name.

So here is to Norm, Cheers and going to places where everyone knows your name. Always puts a smile on my face.

Brings tears to my eyes...

Some Words to Remember

A great quote I came across.

“When the world says, “Give up,” Hope whispers, “Try it one more time.” — Author Unknown

Always,
April

First Encounter...

Allow me to introduce myself. My name is April. I’m 30 years old and I am infertile. My husband and I have been on this long and winding road for 2 years now. Over the past 2 years, I have shed so many tears and asked God, “Why? Why me? I’ve lived a good life so why must you insist on doing this me.”

Over the past 2 years, I have taken comfort in reading the many infertility blogs from women who have or are going through the same thing. For a while now, I have wanted to start my own blog but never did for one reason or another. But I figured it’s time to start my own.
After 6 months of clomid and 2 failed IUI’s, my DH and I have decided it was time to do IVF. Imagine our joy when we found out that it worked. When I got the call, I cried in the bathroom stall at a restaurant. I will never forget that. Over the next week, my HCG levels doubled as they should. Phew!

Everything started to go downhill after my first ultrasound. Long story short, the doctor couldn’t see much in the gestational sac and was concerned. She advised me to continue on my medications and come back next week. The entire week, I hoped and prayed for my baby inside of me. During my second ultrasound the doctor informed me that my baby stopped growing and that I had miscarried. For me, the world was moving fast around me as I stand still in place. I vaguely heard anything after the doctor said I miscarried.

Losing my baby was a pain like no other for me. It’s a pain I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. I will never forget (or stop loving) my baby but I know that I couldn’t spend forever hiding from the world. I know that I have to get up, dust myself off, and try again. I know that I can’t allow this to be the end of the story.So that’s why I decided to start this blog – to deal with the pain of my miscarriage. But mostly as an outlet for this uncertain infertility world.

I came up with the name for my blog because truly all we have is our hope. Our faith and our hope is what keeps us going through this bumpy road. The faith and hope that one day we will look down as we hold our beautiful babies. The faith and hope that we will one day stumble to feed our crying baby in the middle of the night. The faith and hope that one day we will get to see our beautiful child screaming, “Mommy, mommy,” as they run toward us.

Faith and hope is what keeps me going. So here I am, out in this great big world. Now that you know a little bit about me, I would love to connect.

Always,
April